favoritisim

29 January 2010, Favoritism



I seen it all the while. Just that I took it positively, as freedom and independence.

Why did you just bring her to meet your so called "high-class" friends? While they never even seen him before. Busy is not the true reason, just a facade. I know what you are really scared of, a disgrace to your image. Like what most of us do when an unexpected guest visits , secretly push our dirty clothes under a bed, show only the branded.

In secondary 2, go to work, go to work. You start pushing me to the work force, to stop the nagging and have peace in my ear, partially getting away from you. I landed in a job with MacDonald as the youngest worker. Want to bet? You wouldn't even get her to do that till after secondary 4!

"Don't go JC. Don't study university. Just go poly. Get a job!"take the SAF scholarship!", " take the NEVY scholarship!", " take the Chinese teaching scholarship!". Oh, please. You didn't even bother about what I want, you didn't even bother ASKING what I want. All you are interested in is to go to wherever that don't require you to pay.Yay. Wherever is the perfect word. So I went to a polytechnic, pick up a course WITH A SCHOLARSHIP that appealed to me the most. EWT. And I remembered, being overly-truthful I told the panel of interview judges that if not for this scholarship, I would not even pick this course. Phew, I was still granted a scholarship despite my blunder statement! Thank God, if not for it, I'm sure that I would be forced to quit school half way through! Now, you wanted me to go to work instead of college. Same reason of course. But, don't worry. I understand you full well. I will get a sponsor myself and would not spend a single cent of yours.

But if money was that important to you, what I do not understand was why would you encourage her to go Raffles girls. Independent school that charge $300 per month instead of our normal school that charge at least 10 times lower. Why do you want her to get into a school with direct route to A levels? What's with that change of thinking?

And you too. Happily indulging yourself in a game of masak-masak. You get to pick who to be your child, who you want to fetch home and who you want to leave out of the game. The only difference will be that the food is edible this time round, and that knife is real.

I know she must have find it ridiculous, even I myself thought so too.For no apparent reason, I ignored her. And her coughing. But I just don't feel like talking to any of them. I felt so eaten up by the word, favoritism.

Dialogue in the Dark

26 January 2010, Tuesday

I went to Dialogue in the Dark(DID) with my WISP class. This is what it looked like, pitch black, zero trace of light. An hour experience of blindness.

It's about senses, imaginations and teamwork now. Personally, I like market the best! They had a wide variety of textures and fragrant. It is the first time I hold and examine a cabbage so closely with my nose. I like brushing my fingers against the refreshing waterfall, and crossing that shaky bridge and climbing over the bicycle wheels. I like the way our hearts pound together with the increasing speed of the beeping traffic light. I like the way we swing our walking stick so hard that annoyed the people in front, the way we got lost and scream for names across the room, and finally finding back the familiar smell of the jacket that belong to my dear fly, my security. We would sit down at the cafe with our drink and start fumbling over the tiny silver hole to poke the straw. Finally, our tour guide, Angeline, who is visually impaired (all of the staff in DID are visually impaired, just of different degree) would lead us back to the light. She never get to see us, neither do we. What remains of her in us are her breath and voice, friendliness and cheerfulness. It is a unique experience(:

POP EXCEL meeting

9 January 2010, Saturday

We had a POP EXCEL meeting from 2 to 4 p.m today. 2010 marks my first decade in POP EXCEL! I will be taking Sec 1 Mathematics for the time being(:

My first goal in POP EXCEL this year is to be more committed and punctual! I want to be someone who can be depended on to take a class or maybe just to do anything. Being consistent.

Second goal will be to remember names! I really suck at remembering names and faces! Ehh?..Ermmm. FINE. I suck at remembering ANYTHING. I am famous for my goldfish memory. Just yesterday, Cherry mentioned that Aunty Imm wanted to find a day to meet all of us. It's like OMG, we were her students more than 10 years back! And she remembers our faces and names. Not just that, she even remembers our siblings! *Clap Clap*. To be honest, I can't even remember the names of my favourite kids in POP EXCEL. I can ask their names every other weeks for like 4,5 years or more!

And seriously, POP EXCEL should last forever! It's one thing that allow me to safely take up other courses like environment, water and energy because I know that even though I may not have a career to do with children, but I will never lose touch and connection with them. I am still able to teach and play with them in POP EXCEL. Children is one thing that I think I would not want to give up.

Anyone who wish to volunteer in a church tuition group??

The pre-teen's first inch of the wing.

8 January 2010, Friday

After school, I met my goldfriends, Beverly, Charlene, Raishun, Sophine, Cherry, Fiona and Teressa for dinner @ Dhoby Xchange, Just Acia ( Pronounce it with me, "Ah. Cai").

It's the end of my sissy Joyce first week of school in Anglican High School. She' s really tired and won't be back home till tomorrow): I miss her! I want to know what CCA she joins, I want to know about her teachers, friends and the school, e.g the ultra long staircase, I want her presence, I want her to walk round the house telling everyone " i'm bored" a thousand million times. I want her to beg me stay for lunch at home. I want her to beg me to play badminton with her. I want her to off my alarm button in the early morning. I want her and I miss her.

I think it is the fear of losing her. Just like how we lose Xuan Hao in the beginning. A good school suck him away, totally. Study study study, test test test. First week this, 2nd week that, 3rd week,4th week, one month, two months, three months, not a pause. Time passes and he typically vanished out of our lives, out of the cell. Maybe that's what will happen to my sister too?? First week, Friday cannot come back, next week need to do project, next next week going out with friends, next next next week having exam etc etc, and just like that, a pre-teen expanded her first inch of the wings. I will miss her. 2 more years, it will be me begging her to stay home for lunch(:

Happy Birthday Yong Jie

7 January 2010, Thursday

After a long day's lesson of 8a.m to 7p.m, I went for Yong Jie's birthday celebration at Simpang Bedok. Thanks to her sweet sister, ah Chong, it turned out to be a heartwarming dinner with all his loved ones, a gathering of more than 20 plus 30 friends from different groups of friends and of course his own beloved family.

Happy Birthday Yong Jie
I wish that you will do well in your science related diploma.
I wish that your will always be surrounded by such caring and supporting friends.
I wish that you will find joy and comfort in God word.

Don't believe in scandal.

Toy R Us Job

6 January 2010, Wednesday

Stocktaking Job @ Toys R Us, Vivocity. This time was real! LOL. The last time we talked about stocktaking @ Vivo was a scam to smuggle the twins to powerhouse, which was eventually discovered by her parents just a few hours later): I remembered having an uneasy conference with her mum in the middle of the night at 1 or 2 a.m.

I went for the stock taking with Charlene, first time working with her! But the working hour is like REALLY short! 4 hours only. And the first hour, we were like resigering our groups, sitting on the sales floor listening to the repeated briefings, and even learning to write 1-9! Like 1 shouldn't have a head, 4 shouldn't join together, 6 should underline, 7 should have middle stroke, 0 should be full circle etc etc. I felt like I was a kindergarden kid once again. Supper and taxi claims were provided at the end too.

2 days we only earned $40, but it was another experience gained(:

Risk Assessment

risk assessment- This danger is no stranger.

The fickle fashion

This is the fickle fashion. Many beginnings but never an ending. It follows me everywhere like a shadow. In a project madness season, it operates this way: Start 2 lines of mind quest assignment, and *bling* edit abit of mst and *bling* find regulations for ems and *bling* start my PowerPoint slide on ecm and *bling* write a bit of wsh2 and *bling* back to any of the above. Each *bling* doesn't last for 15 minutes and it *blings* in no exact order or sequence. It *blings* to answer the the calls of the anxious mind, the fickle fashion. Just like a nurse answering the call bells of the patients and of course, my pregnant brother's appetite.

Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence

Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence.

First time, it was just another emo, sad piece.
Put it to the repeat button, it's not that bad after all.

Now I wanted to watch the its film, Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. First he say the show is too old, then he say the file is too big! But the music wouldn't complete without its story! What's "Once Upon a December" without Anastasia? I simply love movie sound tracks!

Which kind soul would help me to get the dvd? download the movie for me or simply direct me to a website to that streams old movies??

Hospital Log Book Day 7

3 January 2009, Sunday

Andy is discharged (: Home Sweet Home!! 3 keyholes surgery, with each size of 10mm. The lump of flesh with tiny hairs of strings sticking out all over is abit gross. Sim said the clothes can get caught in the stitches sometimes too. Eeeww~!

Before- with the tube

After- Without the tubes

Speedy Recovery, Andy! Same goes to Sim!(:

Hosptial Log Book Day 6

2 January 2010, Saturday

Sorry that this blog has some how turn into a medical journal of my brother. Just one more day, I promise. The doctor promised too.

Andy is now free from all tubes and wires now! Whining to get discharged(:

Now I am the one in deep trouble! If the doctor would take a look at my project load, he would have dosed me with morphine! - A strong drug to numb the pain.

I tried doing my project in the hospital while visiting, but some how I couldn't. I simply couldn't start on a thing with a sight of my brother being so weak and in pain. I know anxiety wouldn't help much, but there's nothing much we can do except to be anxious either.

Happy New Year

01 January 2010. Friday

Happy New Year.

Another visit to the hospital again. Sim was discharged in the morning, didn't get to see him off. Overslept. Hais, sian sian sian. In my message I said " glad to hear that you are discharged. blah blah blah." but deep down, there's a tiny string pulling back, saying " I wish you can stay for another few days." Now, who is going to be the guinea pig and share with us the pain? And who will be the one to spend the cold and lonely nights with my brother? That's what happen when you made a friend in hospital. Rejoicing with the truth and not delighting in evil becomes a challenge.

This is the first time Andy is smiling so happily in front of a camera since he's got that tube stuck up to his lung. Don't believe me? Scroll to the previous pictures. He wasn't sleeping, he was just not looking. Only Sim could make him laugh. How did you do it? It remains a mystery.

Andy is now mobile again. He is able walk to TV room to watch Incredible Hulk and walk back to the nurse station to take his revenge. Nurses who made him wait while he is in pain, nurses who fail to adjust him to the exact and precise position. That centimeter of accuracy. Poor nurses, thank you for patiently taking care of my troublesome brother.

Based on our guinea pig, Andy was supposed to be discharged by tomorrow morning!! Unfortunately, he had a fever attack just this evening and his heart beat remains unusually high. The highest in the entire ward. The only one with 3 digits. Other have an average of 80-100. He has an average of 130-160. I wonder what's making his heart to pound so hard?

New Year Eve

31 December 2009, Thursday

Toy'r Us training in the afternoon with Charlene @ Suntec in the afternoon. Yeppie! We were selected! I really need some cash! The training was good, they have really organised and strict internal circulation. Counting is more than just counting, it has to be of a particular sequence and order. They count by eyes and not count by feelings. I recalled when given an item of thousands of quantities, we often count by feelings.

Evening I went back to hospital to visit Andy again. He is transferred back to the normal ward. Another exact place, where Sim laid before he went for his operation. Tubes and wires were attached to him to monitor his heartbeat and drain out the excess residual and blood. Kok Guan and Carol visited him with chicken essence and fruits and prayed for him. For the first time, Andy is so fervent about prayers. While Andy is free from the oxygen mask and severe pain, Sim is free, so free that he started strolling around the ward. Down the corridor, from one end to the other, from the toilet to the bed, probably looking for the chio nurse who took his blood pressure. Freedom of mobility is something we often took for granted. He was truely appreciating it.

Guess the meaning of the coconut sign in the hospital! Go on. You wouldn't guess it!

Dinner @ Opal Crestcent and headback home, drained and tired. Spontaneously, mum wanted to watch fireworks downstairs, so we did a mini count down on the picnic matt in a wide plain grasspatch. While we were enjoying the new year count down, so did the mosquitoes. They had a new year feast. Big feast. Dom, Hazel and friends, my neighbour Qiu Xuan were all there too. Somehow they diffused into the crowd and we too were lazy and tired to hunt for them, which is equivalents to finding needles in a sea.

Even the doctor says firework is visible from the window of Andy & Sim's Ward. Maybe they will do the count down together by the window side.