eXaMiNaTiON

exam is onli around da corner le!! so fast.. bt i dun tink i hv learn much in dis semester leix.. how am i going to sit for the exam??.. die diex!!
hAI, we long long neber msg lex.. eberitym in msn lyk nth to tok de, so sad* i wanna tok to him.. we din msg as much le, dun noe wether he gt misz mi mahx?? hahax.. maybe he is juz to busy bahx.. i dun noe! btw, who am i dat he should misz?? i feel lyk a nobody to him.. am i realli a nobody to him?? can u tell mi da answer? i want to hear from you.. *only you alone*.. eberi minutes and secondz i cling on to my fone and waited waited waited.. but his name din appear.
> to him: i will be here waiting and waiting until one dae m love for you fades.. do we have a chance?? can u tell me?

-bAnD. HiM-

sOb SOb.. band now lyk so strict le, late a little bit gonna punish.. hai, but its good for the band also lahx, more disicplin, ppl wun be so slack anymore, dere is a sense of urgency and displine.. haha, hope can see improvements in band also! (^^).. at least dere would be more efficient bahx!! but its a bad news for ppl lyk mi!!.. hai, ask a pentium one ppl to work so fast and rush here rush dere, it't a difficult task leix!! im juz so "shi bai" lorx.. i cant do a single thing well. without roystan, i gt no confidence to play my clarinet.. i oways rely on him, to hear him play, at least i gt da confidence.. i should be prepared to be independent player, bt im nt.. when is roystan coming back?? i need him! im nt fit to be a librarian for band, a sotong cannt manage it!! im gonna corrupt soon, is anybody gonna give me a hand?? oh, wad isit now mahx?? am i waiting for him or is he waiting for my answer?? i will definetly answer him with confidence a "yesh", but i cant do it now.. i shouldnt.. im waitingfor him now! for wad?i dun noe.. maybe for a right time?? i dun noe.. we haven been lyk this for 1 mth le, 30 dayx.. haha, happie 1 mth anniversary lex.. sounds lame..gee~(")~ but still so happiex..

-tO mIsS-

I REALLI MISSES YOU... dis de 1st dae i neber bring my hp to skool ever since i know you, becox i noe u now dun msg me as frequent le..* sob sob* it is so weird and funny lorx, i cannt keep my mind off you.. i wanted to get back home to see my hp as soon as possible.. i cant wait le, i realli hope to see your name appear in my inbox!! wahx.. <<>> : do not be depress le worx^^

-GuArDiEn AngEl-

I cAn'T dEnY WhAT hE SaiD is wRONG.. i was not realli upset by wad he sae, i expected it, i felt de same way too...den wad should i do now? i noe if we continue to drag on, the percentage will become lower and lower until one dae dere would be absolute zero. i know he loves his stead, of coz he should.. but now everibodi is confused, all he can sae to me is " dunnot dunnoe" .. i can tell that he is realli beri stressed and confused, esp when he coulnt forget her ex.. i did not press on for more, i dun wan to make him difficult.. dere is owaes a reason and i believe it. i realli want to help him, listening to him is such a pleasent thing to do, to help him relief his pain and confusion, i want to share his burden and nt add a burden to him.. toking to him abt great ideas and views is realli a nice chat, at least both of us are toking our mind. it is so soothing and pleasing, dere is no worry, no fear and pain.. i want to be his guardien angel[ to watch over him, to help him when in need, to give him all my support silently] i noe he wun realise and appreciate, but i could be able to be guard him, watch him through is realli a fantastic job le. i dun ask for regonition, position in his heart, becox i noe it is impossible..** [guardein angel]: nobody realli knows de existence of guardien angel, bt she is owaes dere to give to help secretly..** now, i wish he could make a good decision tad wun make him regret.. " you are strong"!! ~ the story of a little mermaid ~

-SYF-

SYF!! COMINGSOON.. 15 APR 2005 !! BAND, we muz work hard worx.. all our hard work is shown through tis.. we will neber want to see our effort gone down to zero, all our hard works deserve a medal!! WOW.. jia you worx!!

HiS gOoD, pLeAsInG, PeRfEcT pLaN

WoUlD i ReGrEt If I lEt hIm Go?? I duN noE.. bt dere isn't really much time and choice left, i will hv to tell him my ans by fri ( SYF competiion)!! chagning topic and delaying my time doensnt work anymore.. bt, i tink he knows my answers ready, i dun really intend to tell him at 1st.. he is right, no matter what my answer is, somebody will sure be heartbroken.. i would rather it is me, than anyother body.. maybe dere will be other good, pleasing and perfect plan that God has planned..

-ThANkYoU JESUS-

LoVe NEvEr fAiL... tHAt is what He said, and i believe Him. He is the only who show the greatest love to all. Yesh, and He proves his love too. Im just too stupid dat i din realise it, i have been taking Him for granted. Yesh, He has seen me through all the hard times, He has been helping me silently, without me knowing. He has been dere for me when im in need, He has sent me His Love and Help. For how many times?? He knows when im upset..He postphone all my busy schedules( my social study test and a. maths test both at de same dae), He knows i dun really have a heart to study to learn, i hv been so slumpy all these days.He give me time- a whole night, He give me a fren- yujie dere to comfort me, to listen to give advice.. Although i dont see Him, but He has been so real to me, i cant imagine. He cares so much for me, He know i din study at all and would surely flung all my test, He postphone dem for me, i din ask for all these.. bt He gives me.. Im really thankful to Him! Jesus, I LOVE YOU

-iS Dis WoRtH-

Iis this worth it?? i have been thinking these few days, i slept at 12+ almost everydae, juzt to wait for his msg... bt is this worth it at all?? he din realli lyks me, i dun stand a place in his heart.. i noe all these, bt im holding him.. why?. am i juz lying to myself?? or am i realli scared if i lost him?? maybe i sholdnt even exist, it's realli all my fault.. im sorrie, ~gurl: sorrie, i neber meant to hurt you.. please treasures him, you are de one whom he really cares and loves. hope you will know this one dae. i give you all my blessings!!(^^)~ its me who causes all these pain, i will take dem all. i will carry dem, im not going to let him carry this.. i wish him happiness, i dun wan him to see me cry.. bao xuan, im sorrie, i cant make our fairy tale come true le, dey are juz dreamz dat will be treshed.. bt i dun wish yours to be lyk mine, u shld realli realli treasures someone who truely loves you, or you will regret.. go ahead without me, create your own fairy tale, juz dun be lyk mine, broken stories filled with pain and misery only.. you are my best friend.. we are SISTAs.. i want u to be happie and joyful, dun end up pain and hatred. ~fAiry tales? doesnt exist anymore~

-wHy MuZ iT bE dIs wAy-

WhY wHy WhY ?!! I realli hated myself.. what am i doin now?! i am telling myself everdae and everdae tat im nt going to be two tym by him, im not going to be a third party either.. bt i juz couldnt, i found myself falling deeper and deeper each dae, i miss him so muchx tat i lost control of my limit... im sooooo bad, is this de real me?? i oso dun noe.. he says he will cum back find me one dae!! is this true?? am i nt dreaming ?? bt i hope, i hope tat he will cum be 'whole heartedly'.. i will be happie whenever he cums back. i will wait.. ~i can~*[[ dear dear arhx.. dun be a two-timer worx, i will hate you forever de]]*

-wAd A bAd DaE-

SuNdaY.. what a bad day!! dozens of homework to be finish( gee, all becoz i last min den do), the whole afternoon still gt S.S project to do (yucks, i hate S.S).. den go back use com still gt to listen to ppl nagging!! (tats the worst!!!). bt can see him online, it is worth all these things!muahaha... i cant miss every single chance to tok to him!! i really hope he would treasure me one day, bt i muzbe dreaming .. haha.. todae went out wif bs wif her *****, damn paiseh lorx, nobody is toking, in a so awkard situation lyk tat.. haha..

~...Hai, bt sO cOnFuSeD lORX.. can anyone tell mi wad should i do?? of coz i would want him to cum back to mi, bt would he be serious wif mi? if he can do this to his gurl, he can do this to mi... if only, if only that our timing are right, these confusion will not occur.. i dun wan to make a wrong choice, i dun noe if i would regret if i let him go. bt would i regret if i accept him?? one day he might juz do de same thing do mi.. i dun wish to be hurt. then, wad abt his gurl?? why is he doing this to his gurl?! i will neber ever be a third party.. hai, should i or should i not?~~ 'my ex-crush'~~ "pls be a good stead, dun do anything silly"