My Debt

26 February 2011, Saturday

It's funny sometimes to see myself as someone who seeks Free Advantages. Free Meal, Free Ride, Free Tickets, Free Clothes, Free Books, Free Ice Cream, Free Something and Free Anything.

But if you really knows me, those advantages were never my intentions. In fact, I never like to owe a thing to anyone. Those debts have haunted me almost all my life, debts that don't belongs to me. From then, I figured that the best way to stay away from them is not to take anything that is not mine.

Everything should be a fair exchange. I must earn it.
Sucking benefits wasn't really my intention. I can be a happy giver, but I'm often an awkward taker.

Probability

25 February 2011, Saturday

One day, I will re-look into the Monty Hall Problem till I truly understand it.

Some work of probability, "probability is the branch of mathematics that studies the possible outcomes of given events together with the outcomes' relative likelihoods and distribution"- Wolframe MathWorld.

Sometimes I wonder if there a relationship between "hope" and "probability". It is always probability affecting hope. Can it be the other way round?

Moving Out

I want to move out.

Distance too far is the recent reason.

The main reason remains that I'm sick and tired of taking ALL that never ending trivia responsibilities of others which really irritates me at times. If you think about it carefully, ALWAYS me.

Prison Break

24 February 2011, Thursday

Prison Break isn't in my to-do this for this one week of recess break. Yet it was one of the very few completed things that I have ticked. I really do not have that much of determination and courage like the handsome young man up there, Michael Scofield. If I were to have his determination, I would have make my recess break as meaningful as his prison break by visiting the museam, exercising, reading a new book, playing a new songs, finishing my tutorials and starting on projects, start looking for a flat, painting new colors for my nails that sort of things instead of wasting my holiday in front of a computer.

I still love Prision Break though(:

Roller Coaster, blinded.

23 February 2011, Wednesday

Using your palms to cover my eyes, you take me on a blinded roller coaster ride.
After all these rounds of ups and downs, I thought it have reached the end.
And then, it moves again. I can never tell where is the end. What is an end?

Don't tell me the answer.

(My heatbeat wouldnt slow.)

Number Thoery

21 February 2011, Monday

We have make up lectures on Monday and Tuesday during the recess week.

Number Theory is really one module of complexity. It first sends a screen of question marks to the brain, after 30 minutes of continuous muplication of these screens it produces chills to the spine, then the spine nerve will transmit a message to the hypnotising mechanism to pull down the curtain of my eyes which will finally fill the air above me with integers.

Chapter 6: Prime numbers


Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logial but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.

- extract from " The curious incident of the dog in the night time"

Defying Gravity

20 February 2011, Sunday

It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes; and leap

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravilty

Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost

The Hiding Place

19 February, 2011 Saturday

I revisited the corner where I found you hiding.

I wish I had been more irrational and hid with you instead of walking away to put my bags.

I know you would bring me on an escape to somewhere no one would find us.

127 Hours

17 February 2011, Thursday

I went to watch 127 Hours @ NEX with bff today(: [127 is the number of her birthday too]

The scenery at Blue John Canyon is terrifically awesome. I wish I had a chance to personally experience it, to press my face against its surface and trace contours of those beautiful rocks.

I really admire Aron Ralston's spirit of adventure and his strong will to live on. He had to resort to drinking his own pee and amputating his own arm with a tool. That surely takes alot of courage. I tried to imagine if I was trapped in the position like him, what I would do is probably let myself die of starvation and dehydration rather than drink my own pee and cut off my own arm.

The scene of playing c.chess with Xuan Hao suddenly flashed back from 10 years ago. The second that his important piece was eaten by me, he would try to convince me to let him do re-move. When I refuse, he would overturn the board and give up the whole game. After he stomped off, I was the one picking up his flying pieces on the floor. At that time, I thought he was the biggest sore loser. Now I realise that I am no much better than him, if I had to give up one important part of my body that handicapped most of my life, I rather give up my life. I am a sore loser in life. But Arson Ralston is not(: He continues to embark on different expeditions even after he lost an arm. He cut off his arm but not his spirit of adventure.

Some follow up facts:

- The actual footage has only been shown to family and close friends and is kept in a bank vault for safety. James Franco and Danny Boyle were also allowed to view the footage.

- The camcorder used in the movie is the actual one Aron Ralston used when he is in Blue John Canyon

-Ralston did indeed record himself hallucinating, examining his life and drinking his own urine.

- It took 13 men, a winch, and a hydraulic jack to life the boulder high enough to retrieve his arm.

-Ralston went back to the scene of accident with a NBC New Achor to scatter the ashes of his amputated arm over the boulder that had trapped him

(from IMBD)

Valentines @ Hall

14 February, 2011. Monday.

Valentines' Day in our room, saving our tangled loves and savouring the "kiss someone" chocolate.

fly a lantern

3 February 2010, Thursday Happy Chinese New Year


Haha, this is supposed to be posted 3 weeks ago(:

Anyway, I flew a sky lantern, finally. Actually I wanted to do it in Taiwan , and then Din bought me to ADM rooftop to see the sky lantern last year during Mooncake Festival, and then the rapunzel movie came out filled with sky laterns again!(: So in loved with them.

Granpa wishes for good health.
Cousin wishes for good result.
I wish for happiness.

Dear God,
Have you received our lantern of wishes yet?

Sierpinski Valentines

14 February 2011, Monday Happy Valentines' Day





A mathematician's valentine- fractal love.

Sierpinski Valentines to my fb husband, goldfriends, bff, roomie, family and all my loved ones.

and you(:

BBF @ Ajisan

11 February, 2011 Friday

Meet up with BFF, Hazel @ Ajisan for dinner before going to her house for CNY visiting, one of our never-fail events.(: I really appreciates every moment with her and I too really hope that NIE would take her in under PGDE next year! Who knows we might be colleagues in the near future! Her passion for children is one that is rare to find.

replica

12 February 2011, Saturday

I wish there was a replica of you,
forbidden and yet so irreplaceable.

Your hair was long when we first met.

10 February 2011. Wednesday

Samson- Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall.
I loved you first.

Chinese New Year Goldfriends 2011

5 February 2011, Saturday

I had CNY celebration with Goldfriends @ Sophine's place. Other than the usual Chinese new year goodies, oranges and hong baos, there were plenty of cards, alcohol, singing, laughing and vomits.

Beverly introduced us this last king card game that involves much thinking and drinking. Really interesting, especially when you see people start to get tipsy. When Chai Min got the Last King and she was forced to enjoy this uniquely mixed fish soup-wine, and I was thankful that my fb husband helped me drink the soy-wine drink.

Right after the Karaoke session, I vomited like the Suntec City fountain.During the whole time when the wine in my stomach was working against gravity, my dear goldfriends were busy feeding me nuts, sweets, tea etc, and I felt terribly touch by the fact that someone was there to hold my hair back and pat my back with the risk that I might create a mess on their new year clothes.

Thanks to my goldfriends and their courage!

The little match girl

06 February 2011, Sunday




AAAH. forbidden.
Truly, I'm proud of you.
Not your power nor prestige, but your genuine inspiration from heart, intelligence of the mind and pure dilligence at hand.

She striked the match against the wall..
Then the flame went out..
She rubbed another match on the wall..
Then the flame went out..
She lighted another match....

I have had her illusion, but unlimited matches.

Escape Route

1 February 2011, Tuesday

I'm amazed at how you plan your escape route. Clearly, you've vanished right before my sight, which might just be another good thing.

To the lizards.