University Application

9 January 2010, Tuesday

I'm confused. I found myself losing myself. Lowly enough that I started selling my dreams, passion and talents - to just whoever who would open their wallet and feed me with a golden spoon. Yes, that's what I felt like at the moment. An opportunist.

I was no longer sure of my dreams. Welcome to college, a place of reality. Dreams are free, but reality costs. Reality involves risks, costs money and age. I had none of it. Left only with $8 bucks in my account, wasted a year in primary school and another in polytechnic, certainly I could not take any more risk.

My God my Lord, where exactly do you want me to go? It is true that I love both.

Teaching is something that I enjoy. Moulding and impacting life in a direct manner, visible appreciable form is something that would give me the sense of satisfaction and achievement. Children is a group of people whom I can work with freely because of the absence of inferiority and fear. School is one conducive environment to exercise creativity and put behind boring routines. A vibrant and soul touching job. Then, I thought of kok guan and Mr Chua and Mdm Yap.

Environment is another thing I enjoy. Nature- trees, forest, valleys, ocean, water, ecosystem, energy. What was the very first job that God had given to the very first human being, Adam? To rule and care for his creations. And this is it, it's like returning to the Garden of Eden to continue our job. But the world is so different from the Garden, it is polluted, sick and dying. Doctors are for sick human, Vets are for sick animals and who are for the sick environment? I don't mind working with the sewage, oil spills and fouling but can I really find joy and satisfaction in the corporate world ladder. We are not working with nature here now, we are working with engines, machines, test tubes, computers and people, adults. Then I thought of National Geographic.