God's Unique Craft.

Bishan

2012-01-29T00:50:00.002+08:00

Bishan,

Whenever I pass by Bishan I remembered the day

You knelt in front of me, holding my knee cap tight together on that swing.

At that sandy playground, I broke to you my darkest and dirtiest secret that even I try to deny.

And you, accepted it with love.

That,That is the story of Bishan.

Lose

2012-01-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

To lose,
I'm not ready.

2012-01-17T21:15:00.002+08:00

Tired.
Spiritually. Emotionally.
Mentally. Physically.

Socially.

I want to lose myself.
Get lost, get drunk.
I want to float again.

Best Friend w Benefit

2012-01-16T23:32:00.003+08:00

Will you, J?

I kneeled down with a humble ring, looking at you intensely in the eye(the window to the soul), and asked 'Will you be my best friend?'

My best friend,
We will celebrate Best Friend Day on 14 February, with candle lights and roses.

My best friend,
Hold my hand and whisper me your deepest secret.

My best friend,
Let me stain your chest with the bleeding of my heart in our embraces and hugs.

My best friend,
Kiss, bite me. I want to feel the lasting pain that infuses your sweetness.

My best friend,
I want to race with you on the sands, feel the somersault on your shoulder into the salty water.

I want to walk with you down the aisle of the chapel and say I do.

till then, you are my best friend. my best friend with benefit.

Take my ring, J.

Warfares

2012-01-16T00:54:00.003+08:00

I love J.

Chong asked, 'Have you had a fight with J?'

That sets me thinking, how interesting is the twist of our relationship.

It used to be I fighting J, running to God.

Today, it Is I fighting God, running to J.

I'm so not used to this, my heart was complaining why the shoulder I need to borrow had to be 1.5 hours away, with the change of 1 bus and 3 mrt lines. In the past, this shoulder was just a prayer away.

Oh God, please don't forsake us, US.

I Love J

2012-01-15T01:38:00.003+08:00

I love J .

I am punished for having you, my beloved non-believer.

My first experience of sacrificial love.

Of course it matters to me,

Why then,

Would I call it sacrificial?

My beloved, let this not be in vain.

ILY

2011-09-27T00:05:00.002+08:00

26 September, 2011.

I Love J.

And how we struggle together to do that green light couple workouts in CLEO.

ILY

2011-09-26T23:49:00.002+08:00

25th September, 2011. Sunday

I Love J.

Love is the perfect combination of enchanting melody, smell of burning wood, warmth of flickering flame, and the tiny fire sparks that ride with the wind (all floating)@ Bedok Reservoir.

ILY

2011-09-24T23:54:00.002+08:00

23 September 2011, Friday

I Love J.

The same guy who cannot even stay awake for 11p.m movie, stayed up till 2.30a.m to see me write essay.

2011-09-20T22:25:00.002+08:00

20 September 2011, Tuesday

His thumb is the tissue of my tears.

2011-09-19T23:03:00.002+08:00

18 September 2011, Sunday

The Battle of Openness Vs Privacy.

ILY

2011-09-17T13:09:00.002+08:00

16 September 2011, Friday

I Love J.

@ a bookstore where it sells mini stickers of weather.
N: Dear, will you stick that 'HOT' sticker on my forehead please?
J: Sure, and will you stick that 'FOGGY' sticker on my eyes?

ILY

2011-09-14T21:00:00.004+08:00

14 September 2011, Wednesday

I Love J.
A form of bitter-sweet self-torture.

ILY

2011-09-13T23:15:00.002+08:00

13 September 2011, Wednesday

I Love J.
apple watermelon lemonade cherry, the provider of my regular glucose dose.

ILY

2011-09-12T20:45:00.002+08:00

12 September 2011, Tuesday

I Love J.
In the midst of unhappiness, he still wipe off the tartar sauce on my jeans.

ILY

2011-09-11T22:31:00.001+08:00

11 September 2011, Sunday

I Love J.
Teach me how to fight.

2011-08-05T01:13:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, you are the one who found my self-worth.
Other times, you are the one who burn it into ashes.

ILY

2011-06-27T23:11:00.001+08:00

26 June 2011, Sunday

I Love J.
And how we fall down together.

ILY

2011-06-24T20:40:00.002+08:00

23 June 2011, Thursday

I Love J.

He accepts the devil side of me. The whole of me.

ILY

2011-06-23T00:21:00.001+08:00

22 June 2011, Wednesday

I Love J.
I never had a dream so true.

IMY

2011-06-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

22 June 2011, Tuesday

I Miss J.
Too hard sometimes.

ILY

2011-06-21T00:58:00.002+08:00

20 June 2011, Monday

I Love J.
my love for J grows another centimeter today.

ILY

2011-06-20T01:29:00.002+08:00

19 June 2011, Sunday

I Love J.

His 2 line messages from Sarawak.

IMY

2011-06-19T01:43:00.002+08:00

18 June 2011, Saturday

IMY.

I've got a surprise call, that makes me super happy for that 5 minute.
And miss you even harder for the next 5 days.

IMY

2011-06-17T00:39:00.002+08:00

16 June 2011, Thursday

I Miss J.

Day 2: No messages. No calls.

ILY

2011-06-15T18:36:00.003+08:00

15 June 2011, Wednesday

ILY.
The blood red moon will replace your absence tonight, imy.

ILY

2011-06-15T00:53:00.002+08:00

14 June 2011, Tuesday

I love J.
He texted ' reli happy to have u with me'.

ILY

2011-06-13T22:30:00.001+08:00

13 June 2011, Monday

I love J.
and the eskimo kiss.

ILY

2011-06-13T01:09:00.001+08:00

12 June 2011, Sunday

I love J.
so much that I want to squeeze his cheeks right now.

ILY

2011-06-11T14:00:00.002+08:00

11 June 2011, Saturday

I love J.
he rings immediately when my heart grows weak.

ILY

2011-06-11T00:44:00.002+08:00

10 June 2011, Friday

I love J.
and how we watch the korean doctor drama together till 3.a.m.

I love J.
his monkey smile, that heals all disappointments.

I love J.
He's there for my first success lap in the pool.

Ily

2011-06-08T11:35:00.002+08:00

8 June 2011, Wednesday

I love J.
His brows, eyes.
His breath, touch.

I love J.
when he holds my hands and showed the sea urchins our love.
when he holds my hands and wave to the clown fish hiding shyly behind the corals.
when he teach me how to breathe in water.

I love J.
when he bought me and sissy gong cha.
when he hang a dream catcher on my pouch.
when he call.

I love J.
when the city lights beam across the platform
when passion of fire appears magnificantly out of the water
when he holds both of my shoulders and spin me around.

I love J.
when we take bus, when we walk.
and when we sit down.

Oh, J.
this is my love.

and more.

Contraband

2011-03-15T01:21:00.002+08:00

15 March 2011, Monday

You are my contraband.

That is forbidden, and yet I had smuggled you into my most sacred hiding place where no one would find. I must admit denial is quite a nice place to stay, it is where you can have some [SeCrEt ImAgInAtIoN].

out of the heart, the mouth speaks

2011-03-14T09:19:00.003+08:00

14 March 2011, Monday

They say, " out of the heart, the mouth speaks".
How true is that? I really doubt so.

The mouth speaks of tall, handsome, rich and successful man, but all the heart has is you, not exactly what the mouth have described, or at least not yet.

Sometimes, I wonder where and when can I see you again? If I had accepted NUS's offer, join a band despite all the struggles. and there Tadang! I will be able to see you for at least 2 years?? Oh. and the thought of playing and instrument with you has been a dream of mine(:

oh my, oh my, oh my. but then here I am, NTU, stucked with the reality that I might never see you again.

3 Dying Questions

2011-03-08T00:12:00.003+08:00

7 March 2011, Monday

There are 3 dying questions I really wanted to ask.

1. "Were we ever real? Even just for a day."
2. "Would there be a second chance?"
3. "Do you love,". Er, I change my question. "hate me"?

Calls and courage

2011-03-04T01:11:00.002+08:00

3 March 2011, Thursday

blue-temptation.tumblr.com

my new tumblr account(: But I decided to keep this blogspot account because of the different emotional strings attached whenever I post an entry. Like a dear diary.

tumblr's quotes really worked, at least for today.
I mastered up some courage to call grandma. Yes, it is that difficult. Have you ever felt this way? You wanted to talk to someone so much, but you don't know what to talk about. I have been delaying this wanting, this call since Chinese New Year! Till tumblr suddenly appeared in my life.

Do you still remember how I first tried to talk to you? I gathered the same courage to make a call, a call for the most insensible reason. A happy birthday greeting, a BELATED birthday, to be more exact one is 1 WEEK BELATED birthday.

Behind those short minutes of calls are increased heartbeat, multiple rehearsal of speech and the actual courage to press "dial".

Call and Courage.

Dreams

2011-03-02T23:07:00.003+08:00

02 March 2011, Wednesday

When I couldn't see us in real,
dreams would do the threading of new memories of us.

For me.

Let's meet again, tonight.

2011-03-01T22:40:00.001+08:00

1 March 2011, Tuesday

how long more doctor?

My Debt

2011-02-27T01:38:00.004+08:00

26 February 2011, Saturday

It's funny sometimes to see myself as someone who seeks Free Advantages. Free Meal, Free Ride, Free Tickets, Free Clothes, Free Books, Free Ice Cream, Free Something and Free Anything.

But if you really knows me, those advantages were never my intentions. In fact, I never like to owe a thing to anyone. Those debts have haunted me almost all my life, debts that don't belongs to me. From then, I figured that the best way to stay away from them is not to take anything that is not mine.

Everything should be a fair exchange. I must earn it.
Sucking benefits wasn't really my intention. I can be a happy giver, but I'm often an awkward taker.

Probability

2011-02-26T00:40:00.010+08:00

25 February 2011, Saturday

One day, I will re-look into the Monty Hall Problem till I truly understand it.

Some work of probability, "probability is the branch of mathematics that studies the possible outcomes of given events together with the outcomes' relative likelihoods and distribution"- Wolframe MathWorld.

Sometimes I wonder if there a relationship between "hope" and "probability". It is always probability affecting hope. Can it be the other way round?

Moving Out

2011-02-25T00:12:00.002+08:00

I want to move out.

Distance too far is the recent reason.

The main reason remains that I'm sick and tired of taking ALL that never ending trivia responsibilities of others which really irritates me at times. If you think about it carefully, ALWAYS me.

Prison Break

2011-02-24T21:50:00.005+08:00

24 February 2011, Thursday

Prison Break isn't in my to-do this for this one week of recess break. Yet it was one of the very few completed things that I have ticked. I really do not have that much of determination and courage like the handsome young man up there, Michael Scofield. If I were to have his determination, I would have make my recess break as meaningful as his prison break by visiting the museam, exercising, reading a new book, playing a new songs, finishing my tutorials and starting on projects, start looking for a flat, painting new colors for my nails that sort of things instead of wasting my holiday in front of a computer.

I still love Prision Break though(:

Roller Coaster, blinded.

2011-02-23T23:36:00.002+08:00

23 February 2011, Wednesday

Using your palms to cover my eyes, you take me on a blinded roller coaster ride.
After all these rounds of ups and downs, I thought it have reached the end.
And then, it moves again. I can never tell where is the end. What is an end?

Don't tell me the answer.

(My heatbeat wouldnt slow.)

Number Thoery

2011-02-22T00:24:00.004+08:00

21 February 2011, Monday

We have make up lectures on Monday and Tuesday during the recess week.

Number Theory is really one module of complexity. It first sends a screen of question marks to the brain, after 30 minutes of continuous muplication of these screens it produces chills to the spine, then the spine nerve will transmit a message to the hypnotising mechanism to pull down the curtain of my eyes which will finally fill the air above me with integers.

Chapter 6: Prime numbers

Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logial but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.

- extract from " The curious incident of the dog in the night time"

Defying Gravity

2011-02-20T23:56:00.002+08:00

20 February 2011, Sunday

It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes; and leap

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravilty

Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost

The Hiding Place

2011-02-20T02:02:00.003+08:00

19 February, 2011 Saturday

I revisited the corner where I found you hiding.

I wish I had been more irrational and hid with you instead of walking away to put my bags.

I know you would bring me on an escape to somewhere no one would find us.

127 Hours

2011-02-18T03:55:00.004+08:00

17 February 2011, Thursday

I went to watch 127 Hours @ NEX with bff today(: [127 is the number of her birthday too]

The scenery at Blue John Canyon is terrifically awesome. I wish I had a chance to personally experience it, to press my face against its surface and trace contours of those beautiful rocks.

I really admire Aron Ralston's spirit of adventure and his strong will to live on. He had to resort to drinking his own pee and amputating his own arm with a tool. That surely takes alot of courage. I tried to imagine if I was trapped in the position like him, what I would do is probably let myself die of starvation and dehydration rather than drink my own pee and cut off my own arm.

The scene of playing c.chess with Xuan Hao suddenly flashed back from 10 years ago. The second that his important piece was eaten by me, he would try to convince me to let him do re-move. When I refuse, he would overturn the board and give up the whole game. After he stomped off, I was the one picking up his flying pieces on the floor. At that time, I thought he was the biggest sore loser. Now I realise that I am no much better than him, if I had to give up one important part of my body that handicapped most of my life, I rather give up my life. I am a sore loser in life. But Arson Ralston is not(: He continues to embark on different expeditions even after he lost an arm. He cut off his arm but not his spirit of adventure.

Some follow up facts:

- The actual footage has only been shown to family and close friends and is kept in a bank vault for safety. James Franco and Danny Boyle were also allowed to view the footage.

- The camcorder used in the movie is the actual one Aron Ralston used when he is in Blue John Canyon

-Ralston did indeed record himself hallucinating, examining his life and drinking his own urine.

- It took 13 men, a winch, and a hydraulic jack to life the boulder high enough to retrieve his arm.

-Ralston went back to the scene of accident with a NBC New Achor to scatter the ashes of his amputated arm over the boulder that had trapped him

(from IMBD)

Valentines @ Hall

2011-02-16T00:37:00.012+08:00

14 February, 2011. Monday.

Valentines' Day in our room, saving our tangled loves and savouring the "kiss someone" chocolate.

fly a lantern

2011-02-15T23:24:00.012+08:00

3 February 2010, Thursday Happy Chinese New Year

Haha, this is supposed to be posted 3 weeks ago(:

Anyway, I flew a sky lantern, finally. Actually I wanted to do it in Taiwan , and then Din bought me to ADM rooftop to see the sky lantern last year during Mooncake Festival, and then the rapunzel movie came out filled with sky laterns again!(: So in loved with them.

Granpa wishes for good health.
Cousin wishes for good result.
I wish for happiness.

Dear God,
Have you received our lantern of wishes yet?

Sierpinski Valentines

2011-02-14T13:13:00.006+08:00

14 February 2011, Monday Happy Valentines' Day

A mathematician's valentine- fractal love.

Sierpinski Valentines to my fb husband, goldfriends, bff, roomie, family and all my loved ones.

and you(:

BBF @ Ajisan

2011-02-14T00:51:00.006+08:00

11 February, 2011 Friday

Meet up with BFF, Hazel @ Ajisan for dinner before going to her house for CNY visiting, one of our never-fail events.(: I really appreciates every moment with her and I too really hope that NIE would take her in under PGDE next year! Who knows we might be colleagues in the near future! Her passion for children is one that is rare to find.

replica

2011-02-13T02:28:00.003+08:00

12 February 2011, Saturday

I wish there was a replica of you,
forbidden and yet so irreplaceable.

Your hair was long when we first met.

2011-02-10T01:26:00.003+08:00

10 February 2011. Wednesday

Samson- Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall.
I loved you first.

Chinese New Year Goldfriends 2011

2011-02-10T00:14:00.008+08:00

5 February 2011, Saturday

I had CNY celebration with Goldfriends @ Sophine's place. Other than the usual Chinese new year goodies, oranges and hong baos, there were plenty of cards, alcohol, singing, laughing and vomits.

Beverly introduced us this last king card game that involves much thinking and drinking. Really interesting, especially when you see people start to get tipsy. When Chai Min got the Last King and she was forced to enjoy this uniquely mixed fish soup-wine, and I was thankful that my fb husband helped me drink the soy-wine drink.

Right after the Karaoke session, I vomited like the Suntec City fountain.During the whole time when the wine in my stomach was working against gravity, my dear goldfriends were busy feeding me nuts, sweets, tea etc, and I felt terribly touch by the fact that someone was there to hold my hair back and pat my back with the risk that I might create a mess on their new year clothes.

Thanks to my goldfriends and their courage!

The little match girl

2011-02-07T21:21:00.004+08:00

06 February 2011, Sunday

AAAH. forbidden.
Truly, I'm proud of you.
Not your power nor prestige, but your genuine inspiration from heart, intelligence of the mind and pure dilligence at hand.

She striked the match against the wall..
Then the flame went out..
She rubbed another match on the wall..
Then the flame went out..
She lighted another match....

I have had her illusion, but unlimited matches.

Escape Route

2011-02-01T22:23:00.002+08:00

1 February 2011, Tuesday

I'm amazed at how you plan your escape route. Clearly, you've vanished right before my sight, which might just be another good thing.

To the lizards.

Military Reunion

2011-01-30T18:11:00.002+08:00

War stories.
War soldiers.

The most brutal and yet heartwarming scenes to find.

Engrave Me

2011-01-30T00:56:00.002+08:00

I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.

Isiah 49:16

The Bet

2011-01-26T23:58:00.003+08:00

26 January 2011, Wednesday

Want people to believe you? - Place a Bet.
It's just a deposit of your belief, refundable.

Animal

2011-01-25T23:19:00.001+08:00

You're just a cannibal, and I'm afraid I won't get out alive tonight.

Animal.

Happy 21st Birthday BFF!

2011-01-24T21:33:00.005+08:00

23 January 2011, Sunday

Happy 21st Birthday BFF!

"What is a BFF?" a simple question asked , all I could do was grumble and complain while trying to think up of some universally-agreed definition which both of us could no longer fulfill.

BFF is a bitter thought.

Whenever I walked pass the badminton court, I would count to 8 for you without fail and whenever I saw you, just a split second of it, is enough to melt that bitter chocolate in me.

What is a BFF?
You.

Happy 21st Birthday BFF!

IHG- Chinese Chess

2011-01-11T19:47:00.005+08:00

3-4 January 2010

It was my earliest memory of you. At 7, When I was begging you to play Tic- Tac- Toe with me, you introduced to me a whole new game, chinese chess. It was the only gift I ever got from you.

Checkmate.

Jakarta Trip 20-25th December 2010

2010-12-31T01:32:00.016+08:00

Day 6: 25 December 2010, Saturday

Merry Christmas(:

We had a short tour by ourselves to the nearby Kota Tua (Old City) of Jakarta without our driver. I really wonder how did I learn to ride a bike that had a size bigger than me when I was young because now I could not. The bicycle tour was an epic failure. Anyway, I love its pink bicycle.

We had a buffet lunch with mum's friend who provided us the driver and the hotel for the entire trip! On the Christmas Day, carols were playing at the back and joyous people were ice skating in front, it was so Christmas. Anyway, the restaurant has buffet Ice Kachang! I made what I thought was the best Ice Kachang ever! ( without milk, without beans, many atachi, lots of brown sugar , mango and strawberry syrups!) Simply yummylicious!

Visited a wharf in the afternoon. Love all kinds of wharves! Simply because it's full of ships and boats (:

Robin and his super young and pretty mum met us at the Ancol Atlantis City to give us some Indonesian cake(:

Jakarta Trip 20-25th December 2010

2010-12-30T22:52:00.012+08:00

Day 5: 24 December 2010 Friday

Bye bye Krakatua Volcano, after a breakfast by the beach we went for a morning swim. This time I mastered snorkeling, I managed to stay underwater calmly and enjoy the vast and unique beauty. Amazingly, there were glow -in- the -dark purple mushroom-like creatures and fishes of color combinations of a 3 years old drawing, a natural giant aquarium. Ended our day with a visit to the Jakarta's national monument and shopping @ the Mangga Dual Mall.

Jakarta Trip 20-25th December 2010

2010-12-28T22:57:00.020+08:00

Day 4: 23 December 2010 Thursday

Bumpy Boat Ride for 2 hours to the island opposite the Kratatua Volcano. The rip- roaring waves tossed us up and down, making the whole trip feel like an amusement park's extreme ride.

Before we even reached the island, a group of what it seems to be pirates hijacked our small boat with guns and demanded money from us. For a moment i thought I was going to appear on the headline: 5 Singaporeans held hostage in South China Sea.

We snorkeled with a sea of colorful corals and fishes. It was such a pity that I was too busy struggling to breath and drinking mouthfuls of sea water that I failed to enjoy the full beauty of it.

The Kratatoa Volcano is like a growing teenager undergoing puberty: it grows 4m in height every year. Its hormone changes also makes it roar with fuming rages every 5 to 10 minutes.

At night, the sight was even more awesome. It was a gigantic black sesame ice kachang topped with raspberry syrup. I would vote it as the best Christmas decorated place, it even outshines the orchard Christmas lighting.When the orange red larva spurt out from the mouth of the volcano like a vigorously shake-up champagne, it coats the less than ordinary mountain with a layer of shimmering sparkles, it instantaneously but momentarily transforms it into an magnificent and unforgettable sight. I would trade a sleepless night and countless mosquito bites by the beach just to get one more glimpse of it.

p.s regarding the pirate issue, later then we found out they are just pirate- looking rangers.

Jakarta Trip 20-25th December 2010

2010-12-28T22:08:00.014+08:00

Day 3: 22 December 2010 Wednesday

We arrived at Taman Safari Indonesia at Bogor. Unlike other zoos, humans are caged instead of the animals. Lions and tigers roamed free while we were trapped in the car with not even enough space to stretch our legs. Occasionally, a deer or zebra would pop its head in through our window to say hi.

Jakarta Trip 20-25th December 2010

2010-12-28T00:15:00.012+08:00

Day 2: 21 December 2010, Tuesday

After a 4 hours ride to Bandung, we arrived at Kawah Gunung Tangkuban Parahu. The picturesque landscape of the volcano crator left us speechless. Every now and then the chilling winds that carries the putrid smell of sulphur (that rotten egg smell) were raping our hair. No amount of Gatsby hair wax would be able to withstand the power of the wind. It was overall an awe- inspiring sight.

Jakarta Trip 20-25th December 2010

2010-12-27T16:48:00.006+08:00

Day 1: 20 December 2010, Monday

Fly with Robin, Falcon & the rest of my family members to Jakarta. It takes only 1 1/2 hours. The approximate travelling time from home to school next year!

Check in to Batavia Hotel@ Barat. The first night wasn't great, the frequent power failure gave me a sleepless night.

My Favourite Things

2010-12-14T18:29:00.002+08:00

December 14, Tuesday

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favourite things

Cream colored ponies and cream colored strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favourite things

Girls and white dresses and blue satin slashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eye lashes
Silver white winter that melt into spring
These are a few of my favourite things

When the dog bites
When the bee sting
When I'm feeling sad
I will simply remember my favourte things
And then I don't feel so ooo bad.

Spidery Achievement

2010-12-11T01:04:00.006+08:00

10 December 2010, Friday

Today I covered 3 chapters of calculus lecture notes and 4 tutorials but that was not all.

The greatest achievement I had today is:

MY SPIDERY CONQUEST.

Michelle's odourless insect killer is the MOST useful things in our room

second will be the vacuum cleaner.

True Or False

2010-12-09T01:09:00.004+08:00

8 December, 2010 Wednesday

Just cleared my first paper Algebra this afternoon. Guess what's the hardest part of the paper?

True or False Questions.

I remember when I was young, how I love true or false questions, I used to score pretty well in it, but now they are so tricky and difficult! ARRHH! I think most of my marks today are lost through those.

Well, these problems don't just happen in exam papers, they happen in real life too. When we were young, it was easy to tell true or false, but as we grow, we learn to think and see from other perspectives, then things become complicated. There were no clear right or wrong, true or false, black or white, it was all grey areas and dilemmas.

When I was young I knew that lying is just bad, but now I'm not really that sure. It all goes to the two words "it depends". I learn to look from both perspective, not just the act, but the motivations the psychologies of it. Sometimes, instead of having the sense of injustice, I feel sorry and pity for the accused.

I always believe that children have the most sincere and truthful answers.

A place to study

2010-12-08T00:04:00.008+08:00

7 December 2010, Tuesday

The release of Zi Han's exam result- Fail.

The desperate voice of hers reminds me of myself a decade ago when I was in the same shoes as her - wanting to go into a school and learn so badly but was denied of this simple opportunity. There was a sudden urge within me to cab down and help her to look a a place to study. Isn't that what a teacher do? To help a student who wish to learn. [ but I didnt :( ]

I miss these desperation and desire for school. I wish I still had them now to learn because of that eagerness instead of the fear of failures. The plain pleasure and joy of knowledge.

Hakuna Matata

2010-12-06T22:10:00.003+08:00

HAKUNA MATATA

To all my NTU/NIE friends who are studying hard for the exams,

The Lion King has send me to tell you "HAKUNA MATATA".
It means no worry.

GOOD LUCK

Broken language switches

2010-12-05T13:27:00.014+08:00

5 December 2010 (Sunday)

I can't remember if I dream in English or Mandarin.
And Now I can't decide if I count in English or Mandarin.

My default programme does the table of multiplication in Mandarin, and the rest of the function in English.

This is what my mind speaks when doing a mental sum of [(8x8)- (2x5)]/2

Switch: [(8.8.64) - (2.5.10)]/2 = pause
Switch: 64-10=54/2= pause
Switch: (2.2.4/14/2.7.14)27
Switch:27

I need an electrician to fix my broken language switch.

The ugliest humour

2010-12-05T12:17:00.004+08:00

4 December, 2010 ( Saturday)

Oh, how I realise what an ugly humour you have. Why do you always have to make someone your laughing stalk? When you are trying to laugh hard, you squinch your eyes to such a fine line that I bet you can't even see the hurt to the person in front of you and the wrinkles at your forehead just folds itself to the words "mean" and "evil".

Humans do have a built-in sense for distinguishing people who laugh your mistakes off with you, and people who laugh at your mistakes to display superiority.

Regards,
your laughing stalk.

toothfairy

2010-12-02T17:00:00.003+08:00

For a split second, I thought my tooth shakes.

The legend: Toothfairy gives gifts and money in exchange for a fallen tooth.

I will do the opposite exchange, I will give gifts and money for a good tooth.

a pain in the ass.

2010-12-01T22:03:00.002+08:00

1 December 2010, Wednesday.

Dear Facebook Husband,

I think I know how you felt, it's really a pain on the ass.
A big one.

1 2 3 4 5

2010-12-01T00:01:00.003+08:00

30 November 2010 (Tuesday)

1 2 3 4 5

At first it was just a paid survey, $15 to circle what I thought, why not?

For the next 60 minutes, the questions really triggered me to think and reflect.

At the end, I brought back not just $15 cash, a complimentary soft drink but also a better understanding of myself such as my personality, values and interest. Some how it adds a little conviction to myself of my values.

Definetely, interesting. (both financially and mentally).

An Eskimo Legend

2010-08-29T02:09:00.004+08:00

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky but rather openings in heaven where the love our lost ones pours through and shine down upon us to let us know they are happy.

- An Eskimo Legend

Taiwan Here I Come

2010-08-15T00:40:00.003+08:00

Isaiah 55:12

You will go out in joy and be led forth by peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Still nervous,
naomi

stranger families.

2010-08-14T01:02:00.007+08:00

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=home&order=9&offset=0#/d1ayvlq

I'm scared. What do I do when I go back to a house of family which I had little or no memories of ? What do I call someone that I used to call mum, do I still call her 'mum', 'aunt' or simply her name? What do I do with my blood brothers I never known existed for 8 years?

Today, my uncle's wife called from Taiwan. She asked me if I still remember her? I said I do.The fact is that the only thing I remember about her is that she cooks apples in dinner dishes. I hate it when sweet and salted goes together.

Sunday all of them are coming back to celebrate grandma's birthday, I'm sure there will be even more awkward scenarios with stranger families. I hope I can drill through the cement floor and dug my head below.

traitor,

naomi

the wind catcher.

2010-08-13T03:41:00.004+08:00

12 August,2010 Thursday

I love strong fierce winds. The ones with Speed.

The wind that slaps against your cheeks and makes it hard for you to breath. The one that howls and screams and cries.The one that makes you feel light enough to fly.

Not the storms,tornatos and hurricanes that brings death destruction and fear . Not the ones that you hide away when you sense it coming but the one that you will use your whole body to catch. The wind catcher.

And then you feel empty all over because all have gone with the wind. The wind catches all of it.

Sail boats. Motorbikes. Open Lorries. Tell me where else can I be the wind catcher?

Beethovan

2010-03-31T23:38:00.003+08:00

31 March 2010, Wednesday

A joke shared by Sakinah while we spent the night on board.

" Beethovan composed many music when he's alive, what did he do when he die?"

" He de-composed."

let me float

2010-03-23T00:45:00.003+08:00

I wish that tonight, I would have my worst nightmare replayed.

FLOATING.

So that I can scream at the top of my lungs again. So what if it's done in a dream? That's the only place that a 20 years old can scream without being sent to mental hospital.

Freedom

2010-03-23T00:22:00.003+08:00

23 March 2010, Monday

Another Break Up.

Freedom is costly. SO EXPENSIVE!
To a patient, freedom from illness and disabilities is worth all wealth.
To a prisoner is the freedom from the locks and bars.
To a sinner is the freedom from guilt.
To a loved is the freedom from love.

It lays on a foundation of the 6 alphebets, M-Y-S-E-L-F.
Why do you have to be that inconsistent?

I don't know if pretendence or acceptance is the best way to move on now.

Finally,how much did he pay for our freedom?
His Life.

THE END, shut up.

OBS- CUTTER EXPEDITION DAY 3

2010-03-12T23:11:00.003+08:00

10 March 2010, Wednesday

This is the day we started our real sailing!

Captain( the who do helming-control of boat direction) stand at the stern(back of the boat).

It's about communication, speed of reactions, decision making, stregth, endurance, teamwork.

I love it when the strong wind tilted out boat so badly to a side that water start flowing in, that all the crew members unitedly run and hold on the opposite end, the scene right before the titanic sank.

Captain, "Prepare to Tack" (Shout)
Crew, " Prepare to Tack (Echo)
Captain, " Tacking"
Captain, " Dip now"
Captian, " Tack clear/ Tag fail"

OBS- CUTTER EXPEDITION DAY 2

2010-03-12T21:57:00.005+08:00

9 March 2010, Tuesday

First thing in the morning- Diarrhea. TWICE.
Maybe it's the canteen food. More than half of our team gotten it.

I learnt to hoist a mizzen sail.
I learnt the different type of ropes.
I learnt the different types of knots.

1.BOW LINE- 'Rabbit, Tree and Hole.'

2.CLOVE HITCH- 'Cross'

3. FIGURE OF EIGHT

Before we set sail. We did a dipping. Jump into the sea from the side of the boat and swim forward to touch the bow head to bless a safe and smooth sail.

I love the sight of the person whose whole face creases up and redden while pulling the sail.
I love the sound of the sail flapping so hard because of the wind.
I love the touch of the rope. (Craftsmanship)
I love the smell of the sea.
I love being part of the crew. (Teamwork)

Difficulties faced:
- I had to wear long sleeve wind breaker, long track pants, caps and apply sunblock like every half an hour because of the scorching sun. Just look at Daxino's burnt at the back and Yi Zi's swell on the lips, like a hot dog.

- There was no corner of privacy. You know? to answer nature's call. The guys just stand at the bow head and pee it down into the sea while we sit facing the opposite direction. The girls have to go down to the baby Avon boat to pee. LOL. Open Sea, Open Space. I didn't' pee and shit at all!

But overall, I still like sailing!! I LOVE SAILING. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

At night we anchored our boat down and paddled on a half leaking baby Avon boat to a beach and pitched a tent for rest. Dinner was settle on canned food heated up on mesh tins. Food waste were all dump into the sea. ( ONLY BIODEGRADABLE STUFF) .And we saw wild boar running around when I urgently needed to go to the toilet for another round of diarrhoea.

OBS- CUTTER EXPEDITION DAY 1

2010-03-12T21:28:00.005+08:00

8 March 2010, Monday

We took a ferry from Punggol Jetty to Pulau Ubin our camp site.

My Team: Rajaratham

My Instructor: Tracey

My Team Mates: KJ (Kelvin), Daxino, Khairul, Edwin, Kee Boon, Martin, Joshua, Jun Wei, Karen, Sakinah, Yi Zi and myself.

My Cutter Name: Semangat ( " Spirit" in Malay)

We did rock climbing for the first day. Very surprisingly I reached the top!! Even I myself couldn't really believe it. The last time I reached the top of a rock wall was in the P5 SparkC Camp I went with the goldfriends. Then as age increases, the number of rock wall panels I can reach decreases. I think this exception was only made possible by the support, encouragement and guidance from my friends whose holding my life line. Anyway, I am proud of Rajaratham because the entire group reached the top!

Climber, " Am I on belay?"
Belayer, " No, you are not." ( tighten the ropes)
Climber, "Ok, That's Me."
Belayer, " Screw check, pull check, instructor check."
Climber, " Climbing."
Belayer, " Climb On."

Rock Climbing consist a team of 5. Climber, Supporter, Belayer, Anchor, Assistant Belayer.

Evening we got our food ration for 3 days of sailing. To fit that food into that small air-tight bag, we had to compress the food. Like how? Like pressing the bread till so flat that 4 loaves combined into 2.

A tip for controlling sea sick- look far, look straight. and eat ORANGES.

Hong Zi Han

2010-03-05T01:46:00.003+08:00

4 March 2010, Thursday

Alice in the Wonderland is officially in the theatre today!
Hong Zi Han (my taiwan cousin) arrived Singapore today!

It was rather an awkward moment when we first raised an eyebrow at each other at the arrival hall. We were both too young to remember each other then , I had almost zero memory of her. And I still have to try to identify her in the sea of crowds after more than 10 years of not seeing each other. I didn't know what to say, what to do and where to go. Despite all these, I am still very excited that they came!

And Hong Zi Han is going to stay in Singapore to study! Horray! I hope that she can get a school soon, I hope that she can adapt to Singapore soon. I hope that I can introduce her to all my friends, just like how I would introduce my sister to my friends.

Happy 22nd Birthday Edwin

2010-03-01T01:42:00.007+08:00

28 February 2010, Sunday

I went for Edwin's 22nd birthday chalet at the Costa Sands Resort with Lloyd, Shawn and Veronica . This time I couldn't wait to blog (even without the pictures and the videos) because my I am missing it so much. I think by the time the pictures and photos appear in facebook, my this sense of excitement would have already subsided. Although I had just a short 3 hours of stay (40 minutes staring at the menu of New York New York, 90 minutes eating, and maybe just one hour of stay at the chalet.) It was such a great fun!

Much energy is required. Much jumping and bouncing on the bed. Video Record. Signings. And We've got a wide variety of talents there! We've go Veronica who's going for post-graduate degree in medicine. We've got Edwin whose going to study music in the states. And Edwin is really musically talented with his keyboard. There were solo performance, duet playings, trio signings, quintet dancing.

I am so naturally attracted to musically talented people
.

"Heart & Soul" for TICE TEAM "HEART"

If You're Happy And You Know It", Carmen's "Habanera" and "London Bridge"

And we can't decide whether to laugh or cry over "Amazing Grace" and "Aura Lee"

Happy Birthday Edwin,
I wish that you will get into your music courses in the states.
I wish that you will lead a civilian life real soon.
I wish that you will attract so so many people and audiences who apprieciates you with your talents

What I call tuition

2010-02-28T01:03:00.004+08:00

27 February 2010, Saturday.

" Now, this is what I call a tuition."- This is one of the comment made by a student from Pop Excel today. He is the same student who rocked his chair and screamed at the top of his lung during lesson last week. He is one of my student.

I felt so encouraged! Of course, there are much more nonsensical chatters, comments and small fights than such lines, but I think I'm a step closer to the slogan of Gold 95.5 FM " Hear only the good stuff".

That's their advertisement. Pretty Cool. Sometimes this slogan worked(:I used to expect the perfect. 100% attention. 100% hard work. 100% submission. 100% obedience. I would feel so discouraged and like such failure whenever I see 90% of them chattering away. Maybe that's not an effective way. Too demoralising. " Hear only the good stuff", I'm now changing my focus to the 10%. If I have made a change to just one person today, I have achieved something. The satisfaction of a teacher.

CAEM 4

2010-02-27T02:40:00.004+08:00

26 February 2010, Friday

dy/dx = -Ay(lny) [A>0] Find the mass of tumor cells at time t. [y(t)]

I ended having an equation of ylnylnylny= blah bah blah!
And Jocelyn confirm with me that this ylny.ln(ylny) thing is right!

I have difficulty acepting an equation that look like this : ylnylnylny.

MST I lost only 30 marks.
CAEM4 I gain only 30 marks.

Well I calcuated of needing at least 38 marks to pass my paper. I think the rest of the 8 marks will have to come from the factor M.( miracle).

Miracle, please please please get me to the passing line! I want a diploma plus! Not just certificates.

Tetanus Vaccination

2010-02-27T02:19:00.002+08:00

25 February 2010, Thursday

I had a Tetanus Vaccination at a family clinic. $28 vaccination + $12 consultation =$40. Doctor do earn fast! $40 within 5 minutes.

The Tetanus Vaccination is for my 5 day OUTWARD BOUND CUTTER EXPEDITION!! I'm so so so looking forward to it. We'll be learning about sailing, wind effects, knots etc etc, typically all the stuff a sailor and a pirate do! Oh. I have always fancy them! And $500 fully paid by the school! How cool is that? I'm so excited! AYE AYE CAPTAIN.

POP EXCEL CNY 10'

2010-02-25T17:37:00.009+08:00

20 February 2010, Saturday

Pop Excel's Chinese New Year Celebration. Lo Hei, one of the messiest food. You find them in the air, on the table, in the mouth and on the floor. Yet when you see these mess exchanges for smiles, laughter, unity, family bondings and friendships, you will shake your head and say "beautiful"((:

She does look like the Beverly 10 years ago.

Membrane Science Technology

2010-02-24T02:04:00.002+08:00

23 February 2010, Tuesday

Mr. Satha's stunts are back again! We were totally taken in by surprise at the first flips of the exam paper. We were not really unguarded, just wrongly guarded. Most of what we had studied didn't really come out at all. What came out were all the unexpected and unfamiliar. Some of the formulas we have not even seen it before in the entire semester.

You would say, " just substitute the values to the formulas." I did and I've got a system efficiency of 108%. If we are using this alien formula to calculate the efficiency of the alien space ship, maybe I would believe its works at 108%. BUT, this is earth man, nothing works with an efficiency exceeding a 100!

It's like we have equipped ourselves with armours and shields, even bullet proof jackets, but all these were nothing when he came with a chemical attack and some unidentifiable substances. Who would thought of bringing a breathing aparatus to the battlefield?

Yesterday I thought losing 12 marks is a lot. Today I can easily lose 30 marks.
Yesterday I got a bullet in my arms and I thought it hurts . Today, I stepped on a land mine and realised yesterday was nothing.

What does M stands for?

2010-02-22T23:41:00.004+08:00

22 Februrary 2010, Monday

Today, in the exam hall I asked a question. " What does M stands for?"

Dr. Katayon: "M is Mass"
Fact:"M is the number of cycle"
Fly:" She meant find the M in the Mess"
Naomi: " Me is in the mess"

Me is the Mess because I lost 12 marks (a grade) because I thought M is the Mass. All of a sudden, all the M words are pain inducing. Me. Memorize Mass, Mess.

He told me otherwise. M is for miracle.

Final Exam. FINAL

2010-02-21T21:21:00.002+08:00

21 February 2010, Sunday

Monday- Industrial Wastewater Treatment (2.30-4.30p.m)
Tuesday- Membrane Science Technology (2.30-4.30p.m)
Wednesday- Workplace Safety & Health 2 (9.oo-11.00 a.m)
Thursday- Environmental Management System (9.00-11.00a.m)
Friday- Advance Mathematics 4 (2.00-4.00p.m)
Yesterday- Stress (12.ooa.m- 12.ooa.m)
Today- Stress (12..oo a.m- 12a.m)

I hate to memorise. My memory capacity is very limited.
So, don't be surprise if I forgot you.

A Centuar

2010-02-20T00:56:00.004+08:00

20 February 2010, Friday

She's a mermaid. She belongs to the sea.
I am a centuar. I belong to the wind.

lordosis

CNY at Hazel Place

2010-02-19T01:16:00.006+08:00

14 January 2010, Sunday Chinese New Year

Hazel invited me over to her place for a steamboat dinner on 1st day of Chinese New Year and we had mahjong with her sister and Dom. (: There was even a round where we finish the tiles of dragon-length with no winners! I had the last tile.

I missed the time where grandpa, grandma yong sin and I would just sit at the open roof top playing Taiwan mahjong in the midnight breeze. I want to go back Taiwan sometimes soon. This year probably. Next month probably. I miss the creaky er'hu that grandpa used to play in our yard under the moon light. And we would play badminton in the same yard at the same time complaining the shadows casted by the mixtures of moonlight and streetlights were blocking the view of the shuttle cork.

When I was saying this er'hu and badminton game @ Alex chalet, they thought it's my imagination, but it's not. It was a habitual past tense. A memory.

Talking about family, I think the intermolecular forces of attraction between Hazel and I makes me feels like she's just part of my family. A physical adsorption.

Happy Chinese New Year to my friends from as close as the girl who lives 10 min's walk from my place to as far as the girl who lives at least 100 min's bus ride, to my family from as close as the boy of a few square tiles away , to the girl of a few highways and streets away, to the relatives of a border away and to the relatives of a few seas away. ROAR! I hope the tigers this year will be loud enough to transmit my greeting to as far as those written above. ROAR. ROAR. ROAR.

Happy Valentines' Day

2010-02-15T00:49:00.005+08:00

14 February 2010, Valentine's Day

Sometimes, love works this way. The not so obvious.